


Run Me Like A River

by hextrals



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: M/M, it's happier in some ways but also sadder in others, this is an au where rosa never died and michael went to college, this is lowkey a crack fic but i was egged on by my friends to write it so you know what? here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-26 17:53:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18722023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hextrals/pseuds/hextrals
Summary: Michael has plenty of secrets. Things he never told anyone, not even Max or Isobel or Alex. After a decade kept secret comes back, Michael has to make adjustments in ways he never expected.





	1. Need Something That I Can Confess

**Author's Note:**

> so. this is kind of definitely a crack fic. i had the idea the other day and i immediately wanted to actually write it so here's the beginning of it. Malex is established and happy in this, Max never fixed Michael's hand, Rosa never died, and Michael didnt ditch Alex for Maria uwu

Michael sat in one of the lawn chairs outside of Alex’s cabin. He had a beer in one hand and tension in the other. He’d been trying to keep his mind off the past, yet all day he’d been plagued with memories. Stuck reminiscing on so many different “could have beens.” Memories were funny things, Michael had learned. They always seemed to sneak up on you at the most inconvenient times in the most inconvenient ways. Never the happy ones, either. Always the ones you wished you could forget...

 

_ “Michael. We need to talk.”  _

 

_ Michael looked up from the books he was studying. Before him was Sophie Blackfoot, his- well his he didn’t know what. They weren’t dating but they weren’t not dating.  _

 

_ “Sophie- what’s going on? Is everything okay?” Michael asked, a concerned look on his face.  _

 

_ “Not here. We- we can’t do this here.” Sophie said, clearly shaken up. She beckoned him outside the library and into the warm September sun. Michael squinted against the bright light and looked at Sophie expectantly. She looked scared. She looked sad. _

 

_ “I don’t- I don’t know how to say this, Michael.” she whispered, her voice breaking. Tears slipped slowly down her face and Michael held her hand. _

 

_ “If you’re having second thoughts-” He started, hesitantly placing his hand on her lower back. _

 

_ “No! No, Michael. Never.” Sophie said firmly, resting a hand over her stomach. “I want this. I want this baby and I want this life but I-” Michael tensed, already dreading what he was about to be told.  _

 

_ “I’m moving, Michael. My parents- they found out and they don’t want-” _

 

_ “They don’t want you to have a kid with a no good soon-to-be has been?” Michael supplied, a bitter taste in his mouth. He should’ve known this was coming. He could never have anything good. Not for long anyway. _

 

_ “Michael, you have to believe me when I say I don’t want to leave you.” Sophie insisted, gently holding Michael’s face in her hands. Michael leaned into her touch, his face falling like pieces of  broken glass.  _

 

_ “But you’re going to anyway.” _

 

_ “I don’t have a choice, Michael! I wish I could stay here but my parents are making me move to Sacramento, California.” Sophie said, letting her hands fall to her sides. _

 

_ “Wh- That’s like eighteen hours away!” He exclaimed, dread pitting in his stomach. Although upon his initial revelation of Sophie’s pregnancy he had felt nothing but fear, he had grown fond of the idea of having and raising a baby. It was something he and his siblings had never thought they would be able to do but here he was, finally accepting and dreaming about being a father only to have it stripped away from faster than he could blink. _

 

_ “I know, Michael. I wish it didn’t have to be this way but truthfully… I think it might be what’s best. Roswell isn’t really the best place for a baby- especially not to a teen mom.” She said softly. “I won’t let them alienate you from our baby, Michael. No matter what.” _

 

_ The promise was an empty one. They both knew it, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. _

 

_ “When do you leave?” Michael asked quietly, doing his best to keep his voice from breaking. _

 

_ “At the end of the week. My grandparents live out there so it wasn’t like we had to buy a house. My parents sold our house to the state so now it’s just a plot of government owned land.” She took Michael’s hand and gently pressed a kiss to it, thankful for the cover of the surrounding trees. _

 

_ Michael pulled her into a loose hug, resting his chin on her head. There were so many things he didn’t want to think about but couldn’t get out of his head.  _

 

_ “I’m gonna miss you, Soph. You know that right?” _

 

_ “Of course I do, Michael. I’m really sorry.” _

 

_ “I know. I know.” The bell rang and the two jumped away from each other. Sophie shot him one last apologetic look before walking away. Michael would soon learn it wouldn’t be the last time someone he cared about walked away from him.  _

 

_ He made a beeline for the music room. All he wanted at the moment was a guitar and some music. He grabbed the first guitar he saw, ignoring the name on the side of the case and headed to his truck. He sat down and started playing the most angry songs he could think of. _

 

_ It went on like that for a while. He was almost afraid he’d break the guitar with how much he was putting into it. In due time, he slowed down. Started playing slower, sadder songs. He just felt lost and he was hoping he could find himself in the music. _

 

_ “What the hell, Guerin!” the guitar was snatched from his hands. Michael looked up, taken by surprise. Alex Manes. _

 

Michael sighed. He remembered that day often. How he had lost so much. How nothing had been the same for him since. He sighed and brought the beer up to his mouth. It was nearing the end of May. Just around the time his daughter had been born ten years ago.

 

He’d never met her. It had just never worked out. Sophie would be too busy or he’d have too much work. It was one excuse after another. The only reason he knew what she looked like, the only reason he knew her name and her birthday, is that every year since she was born, he received a picture with a caption on it. He’d kept every one of them. He was losing himself in thought when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Michael, we need to talk.” Alex said gently, holding a small book in his hands. One that Michael instantly recognized.

 

“Alex where did you find that?” He said, standing up. His heart was racing. No one was supposed to know. No one was ever supposed to know.

 

“It was in one of the boxes you never unpacked, I didn’t think it was anything special but then I opened it and-”

 

“Jesus, Alex! I don’t snoop through your shit so why are you snooping through mine!” he snatched the book back and held it gently in his hands. “This was none of your business.”

 

“You’re my boyfriend, Guerin. I thought we were honest with each other. I thought we told each other the truth but now I find you’re hiding this from me- I just- who is she, Michael?”

 

Michael flipped the book open and looked at the first picture. June 2, 2008. 

 

“Is this the reason you always become inconsolable in the first week of June? Why you always shut down to the point you don’t eat or shower for days? Michael I need you to tell me the truth.” Alex was getting frustrated now. He had thought that the past few months had brought him closer to Michael than they’d ever been.

 

“Fine, Alex. You want to know the truth?” Michael said, taking a shaky breath.

 

“Yes, Michael. Please.”

 

“She’s m- she’s my-” he’d never said the word aloud before. For some reason, trying to say it now wasn’t easy. “She’smydaughter.” he mumbled. Alex’s eyebrows shot up. He couldn’t have heard that correctly.

 

“She’s what?”

  
“ _ I have those photos because she’s my daughter, Alex.” _


	2. You'll Always Be My Only Guiding Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael tells Alex everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope yall enjoy this.

“Wh- how?  _ When _ ?” Alex asked, slowly sinking into the chair across from Michael.

 

Michael sighed. It was so long ago but it was far from a distant memory. 

 

“Do you remember Sophie Blackfoot?” Michael asked, running his thumb along the spine of the photo album. There was a total of nine photos in it now, he was expecting a tenth any day now.

 

“Maybe…? Wasn’t she up for being the Valedictorian at the start of our senior year?” Alex asked, clearly confused.

 

“Yeah. Sharp as a tack with a razor wit to match.” Michael said, taking a deep breath. “She was so brilliant. I never understood why she started coming to me.”

 

“What? What are you talking about, Michael?”

 

“Close to the end of junior year, Sophie in all of her popular girl, valedictorian-to-be beauty came out and found me near Sanders’. She said she was sick of the front she had put up and that she just wanted to talk with someone she didn’t know and who didn’t know her. To finally be herself. So that’s what we did.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Sophie and I just talked. From late April to mid July that’s all we did. We talked about life, about our futures, about our fears. I helped her write her Valedictorian speech and she helped me write the essay that got me a full ride to University of New Mexico. She told me so many things that she swore she would never tell anyone else and I did the same.”

 

“So she used you as an info dump bank?” Alex questioned. Michael groaned and pulled at his hair.

 

“No, Alex. She was my friend. Over the course of those four months I really fell for her. She was funny and smart and she laughed at my shitty jokes. Then towards the end of July we went out to Bottomless Lakes State Park. We spent a week there together, just having fun and swimming and doing dumb highschooler shit.” Michael said, trying not to be swallowed by the memory. He hadn’t heard from her since she left. The only contact they had was the pictures that he received each year.

 

“Okay… I’m still not entirely sure why you brought her up.”

 

“Alex I really thought you were smarter than that, babe.” Michael joked, trying to lighten the mood. It didn’t quite land. “Sophie and I started hooking up during that week. She was the first person who I felt I didn’t have to hide everything with.”

 

“So you told-”

 

“No! No I didn’t tell her I was an alien, Alex! That- no one can handle that.”

 

“Michael-”

 

“Alex, let me finish. Please.” Michael sounded tired, defeated. He sounded like he had no will anymore. Alex just nodded, urging him to continue. “She and I hooked up multiple times. It was never just sex either- it had a personal, intimate element to it that made it- I don’t know. Different. Then one day mid September she tells me she’s pregnant. I didn’t know what to do. She told me she wanted to keep it and I agreed and we- we had this whole plan. Then at the end of the month she tells me her parents are making her move. That was the last time we talked in person. They cut off her phone line and left us no way to stay in touch.”

 

“Michael… I’m so sorry.”

 

“That’s not quite the end of the story, Alex. One of the first few days of June, a letter was delivered for me via Roswell PD. They said that it must’ve been sent to them since I had no traceable address. Inside the envelope was this picture.” Michael said, handing the photobook to Alex. It was open to the first picture in the album. “That’s my daughter, Alex. I’ve gotten one every year on her birthday ever since then.”

 

Alex took the book and looked at the picture. He could see so much of Michael in this baby it astounded him.

 

“You can look through the rest again, if you want to.” 

 

Alex shook his head. This was so much to process. He could hardly wrap his head around it all. 

 

“I don’t- I don’t need to see them again I just- I need time to process this. The fact that you- you have a daughter and... You never told me about her.” Alex said, obviously conflicted.

 

“To be fair, I never told Max or Isobel either.” Michael replied, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. Alex’s jaw dropped. 

 

“ _ They don’t know?” _

 

“I never told them. I didn’t really know how, it wasn’t like we would’ve been able to be a normal family. Not with what we are… you know that. I didn’t want to tell them about her just to have to tell them that they’d probably never get to meet her.” There was so much hurt in Michael’s face and in his eyes. Alex could tell this wasn’t easy for him. 

 

“Michael-”

 

“Look, Alex. This has been a lot for one day. I really don’t want to think about this for much longer. Thinking about her- knowing I’ll never get to meet her it just- it breaks me. I’m reminded every year when I get those pictures. I’ve been checking the mail for days so it’s already been in my head for a while and with all this I’m just overwhelmed at this point. I want more than anything to have her in my arms but I- I gave up on that being a reality years ago.” 

 

Alex had never heard Michael sound so defeated before. It made his heart wrench. 

 

“Do you know where she is?”

 

“They were in Sacramento but I don’t know if that’s still where they are. I just feel lost without her in my life, she's like the guiding light I need. I would drive there to try and see her but-”

 

“I get it, Michael. Maybe one day you will be able to meet her.”

 

“Maybe…”

 

\----

 

“River! Are you ready to go? We need to leave soon to get to the hotel by 8:00!” Sophie said, piling her suitcase into her car. She’d been planning this day since River’s fifth birthday. 

 

“Coming momma!” River said, hopping to the car. She slid into the back behind the passenger seat, a giant smile on her face. Sophie came to the side and then pulled out her polaroid.

 

“This is the last picture we’re taking before you actually meet your dad baby, how do you feel?” Sophie asked, turning on the camera and holding it up to her eye.

 

“Excited!” River replied, grinning ear to ear. Sophie had never seen her happier. She snapped the picture and then slipped it into the little box she bought so they could develop. River was practically bouncing with excitement. She’d been waiting for this day for just as long as Sophie had.

 

Sophie slid into the front seat and started the car. She turned on the car and backed out of the driveway. Her fingers were drumming on the wheel as she drove, anxiety coursing through her veins. She should’ve called Michael. She knows she should have but she didn’t know how to get in contact with him. She didn’t know if his attitude toward their situation had changed or if he even lived in Roswell anymore but there was something in her heart that told her she would find him. 

 

She looked in the rearview mirror and saw that River had fallen asleep clutching the photobox. Sophie smiled and looked back toward the road, however she realized that the short glance had been too long. There was a car coming straight toward her. Her eyes widened and she jerked the wheel to the side, causing the car to skid.

 

Then everything went dark.


	3. They Make Me Wonder Where You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael gets a very important phone call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow,,,, two updates in a day,,, wild. there's a lot of dialogue in this,,,, which i hate but i couldn't rlly get around it.

At noon, Michael received a phone call from a number he didn’t recognize. He almost didn’t answer it but something told him he had to.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hi, is this Michael Guerin?” the operator asked, voice less than cheery.

 

“This is he… what’s this about? I don’t have any overdue payments and I’ve filed my taxes already-”

 

“Sir, I’m calling from Mercy General Hospital in Sacramento, California.” the woman said. Michael felt his blood run cold and fear strike his heart. This couldn’t be about Sophie. She wouldn’t have had him as a contact. If she knew his phone number she would’ve called him.

 

“There was an accident in the early hours of this morning. We have two patients here, one of the name Sophie Blackfoot and one of the name River Blackfoot. Sophie is currently unresponsive but breathing. She was still conscious when we found her at the scene and she kept repeating your name. You’ve been an illusive man, Mr. Guerin.”

 

Michael went pale. He felt like he was going to be sick.

 

“River is doing well. She was only scraped up but she’s very shaken.”

 

“Wh-what do you need me to do? What can I do?”

 

“Sir, Sophie just requested you be notified before she went unresponsive. She didn’t get to any specifics.”

 

“Am I allowed to-”

 

“Sir if you’re about to ask me if you’re allowed to come and see your daughter and her mother, I’m sincerely hoping you already know the answer.”

 

“If I’m asking wouldn’t that imply that I don’t know the answer?” Michael said, doing his best to keep the anger out of his voice.

 

“Yes you’re allowed to come and see them. At the moment you are River’s only legal guardian.”

 

_Wait, what?_

 

“What about Sophie’s parents?” Michael asked, his eyes wide.

 

“According to this, Mr. and Mrs. Blackfoot both passed away a few years ago leaving you and Ms. Blackfoot as River’s guardians. However, seeing as Ms. Blackfoot is in a coma you’re all that the younger Ms. Blackfoot has.”

 

“I’m on my way. I’ll pack an overnight bag and be there as soon as I can be.” He said, already standing up to start packing his bag. He wanted to leave as soon as he could.

 

“Okay, sir! Roughly when do you think you’ll be arriving?”

 

“You’re what- Eighteen hours from Roswell?”

 

“Yes sir I believe that’s correct.”

 

“I’ll be there around 8:00am.” Michael said, haphazardly throwing clothes into a duffle.

 

“Alrighty then! We’ll see you then.”

 

“Do me a favor- don’t tell the kid I’m coming.”

 

“Sir-”

 

“Please. I don’t need her to be thinking about me and getting her hopes up.” the woman on the line sighed, clearly opposed to the idea.

 

“Fine. If it doesn’t end well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

 

The line went dead. Michael could feel his heart beating in his chest. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think but he had to get to California. Soon. He was still frantically shoving clothes in a bag when Alex walked in.

 

“Michael? What’s going on? Why are you-”

 

“Sophie’s hurt. She’s in a coma. River’s at the hospital too and- I-I got a call just a minute ago and- Alex I’m gonna get to meet her. I’m her only available guardian. I have to go see her and I have to leave _soon_ and-”

 

“Michael. Breathe. Please breathe. We’re gonna go up there together, okay? I’m not letting you do this alone.” Alex held Michael’s face in his hands and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. “I’m here for you, Michael. No matter what.” Michael took a breath and tried to steady his shaking hands. There was so much he had to process and so much he had to think about but he had to get to Sacramento first.

 

“I- we need to leave soon. I don’t want to rush you into packing a bag or anything but Alex I-”

 

“I always have an overnighter packed, Michael. Always. So I’m ready when you are, baby. Just say the word and we’re out.” Alex assured, taking Michael’s hand and squeezing it.

 

After that they were out the door in minutes, starting the incredibly long drive to Sacramento. Alex volunteered the first part of the drive, it was obvious Michael wouldn’t last long behind a wheel at this point.

 

Alex hummed as he drove, tapping his fingers on the wheel to the rhythm of the passing cars. There was something he found peaceful about driving, especially such long distances. It gave him time to clear his head, to think things through, to admire his absolutely adorable boyfriend who had passed out in the passenger seat… Alex shook the thought off and focused quickly back on the road. The last thing they needed was to end up in the hospital themselves.

 

Michael shifted in his seat, letting out a small, slightly distressed whimper. Alex’s heart clinched. He hated nothing more than having to see Michael hurt like this. He hoped, he so desperately hoped, that meeting River was truly going to be beneficial for him. Michael shifted again and Alex swore he could hear him mumbling.

 

“N-no. Alex you- you can’t. _You can’t love me anymore._ ” Alex couldn’t handle hearing that. Not in the slightest.

 

“Mikey, baby. Wake up.” he said gently, lightly nudging Michael till his eyes opened. Michael rubbed the sleep from his eyes for a second before finally opening them fully.

 

“Mmmwhere’re we?” Michael asked groggily, pushing himself up.

 

“We’re about to pass through Deming.” Alex responded, putting on his blinker and making towards the exit.

 

“ _I’ve been asleep for four hours?! And you let me?!”_

 

“You needed it, my love. You haven’t slept in days.” Alex said, keeping his eyes straight ahead. Michael grumbled in response, crossing his arms and pouting like a toddler. “Plus, don’t you think that the first time you meet your daughter you should be well rested?” Michael sighed.

 

“You’re right, you’re always right. I hate it though.”

 

“I’m gonna be making a rest stop soon. Get gas, go to the bathroom-”

 

“So we’ll switch after that?”

 

“ _No._ We’ll switch once we get to Buckeye. That way the drive time is about even.” Alex said, a hint of finality in his voice. Michael geared up to say something else but Alex quickly spoke again. “Try to get some more sleep, love. It’ll make your part of the drive easier.”

 

He lacked the energy to protest so instead Michael just curled back in on himself and slipped back into sleep.

 

When he woke again, they were pulling up outside of Mercy General.

 

“What happened to switching at Buckeye?!” He demanded, angrier than ever.

 

“You were peaceful. More peaceful than I’d seen you in a while. I didn’t want to disrupt it.” Alex said, stifling a yawn. Exhaustion was written on his face, clear as day. It made Michael’s gut twinge with guilt. “It doesn’t matter. We’re here now, Michael. Your daughter is just inside those doors. After a decade of wondering, you won’t have to hold her just in your thoughts. You’ll be able to finally hold her in your arms, too.”

 

He shut the car off and the two got out. Michael’s hand tremors had already returned and Alex wanted nothing more than to ease his worry. They walked to the front desk and Michael could barely get a word out. So Alex took initiative.

 

“Hi, we’re here to see River Blackfoot.” he said to the woman behind the desk.

 

“Relation to the patient?” she asked, looking the two men up and down.

 

“Father. I- I’m her father.” Michael said, voice shaky. Although his voice was weak, his posture was strong. The woman stood up and walked around the desk.

 

“Right this way, sirs. She had a long day yesterday, so she may not be awake yet.” Michael nodded and followed the nurse through the winding hallways, Alex holding his good hand the whole way. “Here we are, room 423. I hope it all goes well.” she said, starting to walk away. Michael stopped her. He had to.

 

“Sophie. What- what about Sophie?”

 

“Ms. Blackfoot isn’t in a position for visitors right now, sir. I’m sorry.” the woman told him before leaving. Alex and Michael stood outside the room for a few minutes in silence, neither knowing what to say.

 

Michael finally turned to look through the window into the room and his breath caught in his throat. She was laying flat on her back, her eyes closed in peaceful sleep.

 

“She- she’s real, Alex. She’s real and alive and _here._ ” Michael said, voice filled with awe. He felt tears prick his eyes and for the first time in his life, he didn’t try to fight them.

 

“Yeah… yeah she is.” Alex whispered, resting his hand gently on Michael’s lower back. Tears were flowing steadily down his face at this point and he let them fall.

 

“She’s… she’s beautiful. How could- how could a guy like me make a kid as beautiful as her?” Michael sniffled, rubbing his nose with his sleeve.

 

“Michael…”

 

“I uh- I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Try to make it look like I haven’t been crying.” Michael said hastily, turning on his heel and walking down the corridor. He found the nearest bathroom and started gently patting his eyes with a damp cloth. He didn’t want River to see him like this. Not too long after he left and found a small gift shop. Inside it he found a small stuffed bear and bought it without hesitation.

 

He got back to the room but stopped at the door. Inside, River and Alex were talking. Alex was making her smile and laugh and it filled Michael to the brim with joy. He would’ve stood there forever if he could if just to watch the two together.

 

Shoving down his nerves, he pushed the door open and stepped inside, holding the stuffed bear in his arms. River looked up from her position on her hospital bed and her eyes went wide.

 

"...daddy?"

 

Michael felt tears stinging his eyes once again. He never thought he’d get to hear her speak. To see her in front of him.

 

“Hey kiddo.” he said, a teary smile on his face. River was out of the bed and in Michael’s arms faster than he could blink. He was holding her up with his right arm and holding the bear with his left as best he could. She had her arms around his neck and a big smile across her face.

 

“Oh, it- it is you! I knew you’d come! I just- I just knew it!” She exclaimed, burying her face in his shoulder. Michael started to cry again, but this time they were tears of joy. Alex took the bear from his hand, allowing Michael to gently stroke his daughter’s hair.

 

“I’m here, princess. I’m never leaving you. Never again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so,,,, they finally meet. it only took a decade :)

**Author's Note:**

> so uh. yeah. here's the first chapter of my "Oh Shit Michael Has A Kid?" fic. it's kind of like accidental baby acquisition except a bit more. extreme? im working on the second part now but i start AP testing this week so no promises.


End file.
